You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in my name He may give you.
John 15:16 NKJV
It is sometimes hard for me to believe that God would choose me to bear fruit. Me, really ... me, Michelle who still gets nervous when she speaks, is painfully shy around people, is heavier than she should be, can't carry a tune, is moving a little slower every year ... me? Me ... the one with big dreams but little cash; me ... from a small town; me ... who can't seem to finish writing her second book. Me ... God wants me to go and bear fruit and that the fruit should remain.
What confidence God must have in me. More than I have in myself most of the time. Don't get me wrong, I do believe that God uses me and has called me by name to carry out Kingdom work. But at times I wonder if I am bearing the right fruit? And if I am bearing fruit is this fruit that will remain?
When doubts would seek to silence me because I am not "good enough" or my fears keep me from doing anything because the "fruit" may not come forth; the Holy Spirit reminds me of John 15:16. I am reminded that I have not called myself to this work. God had chosen me ... with all my short comings, with all my doubts and fears, with little money, from a small town, and still with an unfinished book (six years after I have started it).
So what is it that I am asking God for based upon John 15:16? I am asking for God's continued grace to bear fruit and asking that I would always remember that it is God who has called me to ministry and God knows what He is doing.